As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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