I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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