he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Dick very happy bro
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
