Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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