...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Boobs are out for the taking
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
