i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
