Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
