That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
