Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
