apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
