Taylor Swift is so right about you.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
