Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
