Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
This is classic penis vs brain.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize