Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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