Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
