On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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