Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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