Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
