I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
