either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
