Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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