Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize