JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
