Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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