ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
