im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
