nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
