I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
