You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Oh god it's open bar.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
