yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
