His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
