gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
