Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
