so explain again why im purple
no
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
