when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
