R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
