Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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