you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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