Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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