So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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