found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
