I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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