you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
