So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
did you just send me my own nude
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
