No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
