Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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