I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
