he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
