After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
