Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
COCAINE IS GR8
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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