I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
