Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize