thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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