Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
