ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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