Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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