Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
