Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
