Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
